Practicing yoga presents us with many opportunities for exploring self-compassion. The very first of the yamas or ethical guidelines that our Yoga Philosophy by Patanjali gives us in the Yoga Sutras (2.30) is AHIMSA (meaning: non-harming), encompassing our words, thoughts, and actions. Most of us learned this golden rule while still on the playground, and yet even in a yoga class, we create struggle and inner conflict, striving for our idea of the perfect pose or competing with other students and ourselves, trying to top our “personal best,” as though asana (physical poses) was a contest or performance. Even if failure doesn’t result in physical harm, we can injure ourselves with feelings of envy or lack or self-dissatisfaction.
!! NEWS FLASH !!
Being unforgiving toward yourself is not a sign of admirable self-discipline but of ego. In the yogic sense, ego consciousness (ahamkara) is not so much about pride or self-puffery as it is about separation. The ego mind identifies with personality, not presence. True humility is recognizing that each of us is a drop in the ocean of humanity, sharing the same fears and yearnings as well as the same potential for greatness. When you practice self-compassion, you accept the ego’s failings and move on, guided by the light of presence within.
If you have stayed this far to learn about self-compassion, I am sure the number one question floating in your mind right now may be: How does one go about actually becoming self-compassionate? It’s a great question and, like everything else, Self-compassion is not merely a state of being or quality; it’s a practice, and we learn it through experience. During yoga asana, pranayama, meditation, and other yoga practices, we learn to observe and befriend the body and mind—developing self-awareness and discernment. Over time, we discover when we need to be firm, and when we need to surrender.
Tara Brach’s RAIN technique
(a practice of Radical Compassion)
This technique is by far my favourite way to integrate self-compassion into our daily lives.
Let’s dive into the elements of the RAIN technique:
R: RECOGNIZE
Recognizing is the first step! This means consciously acknowledging the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and sensations that are impacting you. This could be noting the presence of the inner critic or noticing emotions such as shame, anger, sadness, or frustration.
A: ALLOW
Now that we’ve recognized our experience, the next step is to allow our experience, without trying to change it. While this sounds simple, we’re often caught in a cycle of suppressing and rejecting our experiences which tends to make them stronger. We’re not trying to fix or avoid — simply to let be. This might look like saying (mentally or out loud) It’s ok. This feeling is allowed to be here. This belongs.
I: INVESTIGATE
Here, we get curious about our experience in an attempt to understand and soften what we’re going through. You might ask yourself: What most wants attention? How am I experiencing this in my body? What am I believing? What does this vulnerable place want from me? What does it most need?
N: NURTURE
Once we’ve recognized, allowed, and investigated, we’re ready to bring in the elements of care and kindness that we would to a loved one. You might offer a gesture of active care to yourself – a message of reassurance, companionship, or love. You might need to place a hand on your heart or wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. If this feels difficult you can bring to mind a loving being (family member, friend, spiritual figure, or pet) and imagine them extending their care towards you.
Enjoy this guided meditation led by Tara Brach where she further explores the practice of RAIN.
